"And Now That You're Gone I Feel I'm To Blame..."


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Tech Support  - I wanna wake up…..

2 years…

2 years gone and i still dont know what to say. My hopes are that you are still here living through me, So then there is no reason to write out the words to my sadness, loneliness and misery I still feel constantly because you should already know. An that’s what matters most to me and not the audience of this blog. And honestly, I’m sure i’d hold back the majority of the things I really want to say so I don’t upset or worry anyone. Kinda like going to see a therapist and only telling the half truth or just completely lying all together. It pointless. 

The facts remains the same. 2 years and it hasn’t gotten any easier and I never expect it to. The same things I miss the day you left are the same things that I miss to this day. You were an irreplaceable piece to my life. And nothing can fill the hole in me that your death has left. I’d throw it all away in a blink of an eye to have you back or to go back and do it again. 

“Undo it, take it back, make every day the previous one until I am returned to the day before the one that made you gone. Or set me on an airplane traveling west, crossing the date line again and again, losing this day, then that, until the day of loss still lies ahead, and you are here instead of sorrow.” 

I love you James 


2 years ago today is the last day that I saw and spoke to you. Words just cant describe how badly I miss you, so i’m not.

Haven’t had anything to do with rap since I cant remember when but gave the Grieves album a listen and I gotta say its interesting - worth a couple listens.

A Painting of James by Wayne Hollowell. 

A Painting of James by Wayne Hollowell. 

This Blogs Tracklist (As Requested)

I remember most of them but I have forgotten a handful - sorry about that..

01. The Amity Affliction - Pittsburgh
02. Kyla La Grange - Cut Your Teeth (Hippie Sabotage Remix)
03. Skrillex - Fire Away
04. From A seconf Story Window - Most Of Us Are Normal
05. Savant - Origin
06. Catching Flies - Stay Forever
07. The Chain Gang Of 1974 - Sleepwalking (Dawn Golden Remix)
08. Innerpartysystem - Out Of Touch
09. Phantogram - When I’m Small
10. Lorde - A World Alone (Nightizm Remix)
11. Goste - Drip
12. FLXXDS - Two Coins (City & Colour Cover)
13. Kaskade - Let Me Go (Kaskade’s Ice Mix)
14. Zeds Dead x Greta Svabo Bech - Shut Up & Sing V2.0
15. Nine Inch Nails - Find My Way
16. Bloc Party - Obscene
17. Nine Inch Nails - Copy Of A
18. Benjamin Francis Leftwich - Won’t Back Down (Tom Petty Cover)
19. Flume - Left Alone Feat. Chet Faker
20. Marina & The Diamonds - Obsessions (oOoOO Remix)
21. Ugh I forget…..
22. A Local Summer - For Erik (song written about James)
23. Rjd2 - Smoke and Mirrors
24. Crosses - Trophy
25. Mikky Ekko - Disappear
26. Josh Garrels - Don’t Wait for me (*note* Always makles me cry)
27. Bear’s Den - WHen You Break
28. Nine Inch Nails - Came Back Haunted
29. The National - Heavenfaced
30. The Neighbourhood - Afraid
31. Young Wonder - Time Feat. Sacred Animals
32. Amy Kuney - Where I Can’t Follow (Butch Clancy Remix)
33. Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek
34. Bloc Party - Signs (sayCet Remix)
35. Bon Iver - The Wolves
36. ? - Hold On
37. Bring Me The Horizon - Deathbeds
38. Ugh I forget…..
39. xKore - Empty Space Feat. OOO
40. Savant - Ride Like The Wind
41. The 1975 - Me
42. Arcade Fire - The Suburbs (Paper Tiger Remix)
43. Astronauts, etc. - Sideswiped
44. Ugh I forget…..
45. The Naked and Famous - Young Blood (Renholdër Remix)
46. The Naked and Famous - The End
47. Feed Me - One Click Headshot
48. Silverstein - Arrivals
49. Meg & Dia - Monster (DotEXE Dubstep Remix)
50. On an On - Every Song
51. Groundislava - Suicide Mission Ft Baths
52. Sleep Year - So On and So Forth (*note* I MISS YOU EVERYDAY)
53. Deftones -
54. Josh Garrels - Don’t Wait for me
55. Grimes - Skin (Four Tet Remix)
56. Manchester Orchestra - I Can Feel Your Pain
57. Vena Cava - Let Your Heart Drop
58. Unlike Pluto - Run Maggie Run
59. ?
60. Moby - When It’s Cold I’d Like To Die
61. Passion Pit - Sleepyhead
62. Gem Club - Twins
63. City & Colour - What Makes A Man
64. Deptford Goth - Union
65. Youtube Rip - Face It
66. Chromatics - Into The Black (Hey Hey, My My)
67. Velveteen - Drink Up Girls
68. Carter Behnke - Lighthouse
69. Does It Offend You, Yeah? - Broken Arms
70. Alexisonfire - Happiness By The Kilowatt (Death Letter)
71. Lovelife - Your New Beloved
72. Does It Offend You, Yeah? - Epic Last Song
73. ?
74. Ben Jorgenson - Changed My Mind
75. Brand New - Play Crack In The Sky
76. Daughter - Medicine
77. Nick Vallee (Folly & The Hunter) - Set This House on Fire
78. ?
79. Lovelife - Heaven
80. Gorillaz _ Melancholy Hill (Feed Me Remix)
81. D-Sisive - When We Die We Die Together
82. Benjamin Francis Leftwich - Is That You on That Plane
83. Sigur Ros - The Nothing Song (njosnavelin)
84. The Receiving End Of Sirens - This Armistice (Acoustic)
85. Pearl Jam - All Or None
86. Buried In Verona - Ivory
87. Underoath - It’s Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door
88. ?
89. Sunday Girl - Where Is My Mind
90. The Get Up Kids - Ill Catch You (<3)
91. Oliver Tank - The Last Time
92. Hayden Calnin - For My Help
93. The Radio Dept - I wanted You To Feel The Same
94. On an On - Ghosts
95. Manchester Orchestra - I Can Feel a Hot One
96. Clams Casino - I’m God (Instrumental)
97. Strange Talk - Eskimo Boy (Draper Remix)
98. Ellie Goulding - Dead In The Water
99. Carrolhood - Afraid
100. Elliott Smith - Twilight
101. The Get Up Kids - Out Of Reach
102. Brand New - Untitled 01
103. Paper Route - Dance On Our Graves (can barely listen to this one anymore)
104. Feed Me - This is The Thing (Fink Cover)
105. Benjamin Francis Leftwich - Midnight City (M83 Cover)
106. Amity Affliction - Flowerbomb